Taking Care of Each Other

Our choices cascade into communities like dominos

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I’ve been thinking a lot about the pandemic and the frustrating end of the national emergency. After reading

Lachrista Greco

’s newsletter, I’ve been reflecting on what these next few seasons will look like and how we can move through them with intention. I’ll be honest and say as the season has changed and it’s gotten warmer outside, I’ve taken more risks. I’ve eaten inside a restaurant a handful of times in the last couple of years and opted to do a couple of unmasked things because the calculated risk felt low enough for me (things like getting a tattoo in a small studio with two other people and getting a drink with someone inside when it unexpectedly started raining).

I’m thinking a lot about an essay I read a while back by Tema Okun about the characteristics of white supremacy and how so many are living out the characteristics of the right to comfort, belief in one right way, defensiveness, either-or thinking, and individualism as COVID remains a threat to everyone, especially marginalized communities. 

There are so many ways to combat this culture: wearing a mask, informed consent, risk assessment, mutual aid, and so much more (Tema also outlines antidotes in the essay that are a must-read). There are no more protections for us, testing availability is rapidly decreasing, we have been abandoned by the state (not that we were ever supported), and I truly believe that many of us do the best we can. But I think so many of us dip into defensiveness when tasked with reflecting on our COVID precautions. So many think that we either wear a mask all the time or not at all. So many think it’s an individual choice–instead of what it really is–choices that cascade into communities like dominos.

COVID is not going away. It will continue to be a virus that spreads through aerosols and has the potential to disable and kill thousands and thousands of people. 

I’ve been navigating this next season of the pandemic the same way I’ve been navigating my OCD recovery. I ask myself, “What is in my values?” If completing a calculated risk assessment tells me what is in my values is dangerous or risky, I ask myself, “What are the alternatives?”

How does this play out? One of my values is maintaining thriving friendships and relationships, which often means doing something in-person. If a friend asks me to get dinner or drinks, I think about my values of community care and ask to get drinks on a patio or invite them to my house for dinner. If we opt for going on a patio, we both test 24-48 hours in advance and mask indoors if we have to order something or go to the bathroom. Because there is no such thing as a no-risk situation, I always test at least 5 days after a potential exposure and mask diligently to protect myself and others in case I have an asymptomatic infection.

It takes more effort, but there are almost always alternatives. We often have to pivot and shift our expectations. The most comfortable or convenient option is often not accessible or inclusive.

I’m traveling for the next three weeks, and I have masks (I wear these and these), a portable air purifier, tests, and even protective glasses to set myself up to protect myself and others. I intentionally created a vacation that involves a road trip to avoid planes and airports. However, I do have to get on a plane at the end, but I planned it so my highest exposure risk is at the end of my trip. This is especially important because the last week of my trip is at a writing retreat where I will be around multiple people I want to keep protected. The two weeks before the retreat, I am going to National Parks to stay outside as much as possible and will wear high-quality N95s inside. I knew summer would be a better time to travel because the weather allows for more accessible outdoor time.

There are so many ways we can change, pivot, and take charge in our lives that don’t align with individualism and white supremacy culture. We can still have fun, live, see one another, and support small businesses and service workers without being ableist! We can all make those choices. We can hold each other accountable for those choices and protect one another for the long haul because this virus is with us for the long haul.

As summer continues and the “post” pandemic mindset is forced onto us, let’s create moments of reflection and reconnection with our values. How are we protecting the most vulnerable? How are we making plans to be the most inclusive? How are we integrating layers of protection into our events and everyday lives? How can resources be redistributed to ensure everyone has what they need to be the safest possible?

NOTE: I know there are many nuances to masking, testing, and other accessibility issues surrounding COVID. I’m aware that some people have sensory issues when masking. Testing is financially inaccessible for many people. I cannot account for every experience. I am advocating for those who choose can but don’t mask or take mitigation measures to move away from 0% compliance and toward a more inclusive, accessible future.

I love this Disabled Hottie’s Guide to Not Being Ableist in a Pandemic:

I love this entire post. Here’s a snippet:

Still Coviding Community Resource document

COVID-Conscious Therapist Directory

Some Substacks I appreciate for COVID news:

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Love,